NURSING INSIGHTS

Colin's Choice

Hilary Edmonds tells Amanda King the remarkable story of how her husband chose to live life his own way, right to the very end.

Colin with his Mum at The Ritz	"I helped my husband Col from the water and, with him watching from the pool side, took our two young children in for a swim. A few moments later, Col was dead. That was six weeks ago." Hilary sat in her living room, the terrible pain of the memory showing on her face, yet her voice calm and strong. "But that, of course," she continued, "was exactly what he wanted.

"Col and I met when we were teenagers. We were just friends for ages, but later we got married and had two wonderful children, Charlotte (8 years) and Mattie (5 years old). Col was always so active. He used to spend hours playing with the children and he was the original Mr DIY. He loved his job as a manager at DHL, and was part of a warm, lovely team.

"At the end of 1999, when he was just 35 years old, Col started getting pains in his leg. Our GP referred him to a specialist who treated Col for a probable blood clot and then, when things weren't improving, performed a biopsy.

"That was when our previous life abruptly ended; when normality stopped and we were plunged into a terrifying and unreal nightmare. We had to wait two weeks for the biopsy result and, when it came through, they said it was cancer.

"From that point, things went from bad to worse. The cancer diagnosis went from low grade to high grade in the space of a week. Col seemed to be constantly at the hospital: first it was chemotherapy, then radiotherapy, and then a total hip replacement. In September that year, new tumours were discovered and he had two operations to remove them.

"At the beginning of 2002, Col and I decided to visit Australia, somewhere we had been on holiday 10 years ago. We were away for a month and had a wonderful time. But, immediately on our return, Col went downhill again. By September, the doctors were telling us that nothing further could be done and, shortly afterwards, we were referred to Iain Rennie.

"The Iain Rennie nurses, and Maureen in particular, were wonderful and made a huge difference to both of us. We were devastated by the prognosis but suddenly we had support 24 hours a day to help us cope.

"Straight away the Iain Rennie nurses adjusted Col's medication so that he was pain-free. That made such a difference to him: for most of the previous two years he had been in severe pain and it had exhausted him.

"For the first time since Col had been ill, we felt that we had people totally on our side who just wanted to help us. Iain Rennie offered all sorts of practical aid: things like a disabled sticker and disability allowance just got organised by them, something we hadn't known about before. They arranged for Col to have his blood transfusions locally instead of in London and, when he started to need oxygen, they provided that too. Iain Rennie even arranged for both Col and me to have an aromatherapy massage. They provided someone independent for Col to talk to, especially about his funeral arrangements, and just generally instilled confidence in both of us.

"On the Monday of the week Col died, he, his brother and his mother went to the Ritz to celebrate her birthday. It took us all morning to get Col ready. He was on oxygen and couldn't walk at all. But he rose to the occasion.

"Then on the Friday, Col and I had planned to take the kids to Centre Parcs. He was obviously very ill and, on that morning, the doctor and I sat on either side of his bed trying to dissuade him from going. Finally I said, "OK, if you want to go, we'll go" and by 3pm the doctor, Maureen from Iain Rennie and I managed to get him into the car and, with our friend Fliss, we were off.

"On the Saturday morning, the kids cried "Pool, pool, pool" so, with Col still connected up to his oxygen, that is where we went. At first Col sat on the side, but then he said "I want to go in the water too", so I took him in. It was a real struggle getting him out of the pool but, once I had settled Col by the pool, the children wanted to go in the water again so I went in with them.

"When we came out, I went over to Col but he had left us and had slipped into a coma. I just cried out: "He's gone, Fliss, he's gone". The holiday park doctor arrived quickly and moved him to the Medical Centre where I and the children said our final goodbyes.

"Even in my despair at his death, at least I know that Col died exactly in the way that he wanted. Even his funeral was as he wished: we scattered his ashes on Dunstable Downs with lots of children releasing coloured balloons into the sky. Col lived his life to the full, right up to end. He never let cancer dominate his life and he certainly didn't let it dominate his death. Iain Rennie helped him to achieve that."

The Iain Rennie Hospice At Home is committed to respecting patients' freedom of choice. Enshrined in the IRHH 'Philosophy of Care' is the belief that the patient and their family should have the right to choose the place of death and to be cared for and supported in the way that they wish.

"We work hard to treat every patient as an individual," says IRHH nurse, Maureen Bryant. "When a patient has a strong desire to follow a particular course of action, we will do all we can to offer the appropriate support to help them do so."

"When patients wish to travel away from home, we can liaise with local medical services to ensure that cover is available. We can anticipate the types of problems they might experience and provide equipment such as wheelchairs, specialist mattresses, extra oxygen etc, and assist the patient and their family to prepare for their trip."

All Iain Rennie Nurses are committed to building up a close relationship with each patient and their immediate family and to help them achieve a full, dignified and pain-free life for as long as possible.

Chrysalis Club 2003 Our annual Chrysalis workshop for bereaved children has been acclaimed as one of the most successful so far. Funded by The Pepper Foundation, the two day event is designed to complement the bereavement service offered by the IRHH and uses a variety of activities to help children and young people come to terms with the loss of a close family member. Amanda King went along to the event for Doorstep On-line and you can read her report and see a selection of photographs by Kevin Sansbury.	Music Therapist, Peter Blackett, works with bereaved young people at Chrysalis Club 2003

NEWS & VIEWS

Gourmet Raffle 2004

We will be launching our raffle just after Christmas based on a 'Gourmet' theme and we're looking for prizes. Would your favourite restaurant or local pub consider donating a prize, such as a dinner/lunch for two or four people? Please contact Rozina Ahmad on 01442 890222 or email rahmad@irhh.org if you can help.

The Hospice Lottery: There's Never Been A Better Time to Join!

With an increased weekly prize fund, and more prizes than ever before, the Hospice Lottery really is a great way to support the IRHH and other local hospices. Over 9000 people now take part and the lottery is set to raise well over £200,000 for the 4 Hospice Lottery partners this year.

Join on-line at www.hospice-lottery.co.uk.

Iain Rennie Hospice At Home Annual Quiz Champion

Mrs Sheila Coates of Chesham scored a magnificent 238 points out of a possible 240 in this year's annual Iain Rennie Hospice at Home Quiz and wins £50 worth of Marks & Spencers vouchers. Marion Ford of Tring, Robert Jones of Long Marston, Lowri Mulholland of Princes Risborough, Edna Williams of Berkhamsted and J Worley of London W10 each received a Kodak camera as the 5 "lucky quizes" drawn out of the hat.

We are thrilled to advise that they raised over £1,000 and we would like to thank Irene & Joyce and everyone who took part. Copies of the answers can be obtained by sending £1 and a stamped addressed envelope to IRHH Quiz Answers, 52a Western Road Tring HP23 4BB

Irene & Joyce Are Preparing Another Quiz for 2003/4!

Quiz compilers Joyce Bailey and Irene Cammegh	A huge thank you to Irene and Joyce for compiling this year's Quiz and many congratulations for producing yet another brain teaser! If you'd like to receive a 2003/04 copy as soon as it is released, please send £1 to Suzie Lalé at our Tring Office.